So when I joined a new school,there was this guy,and I used to notice him stare.Being the pessimist I am, I assumed it was 'coz he didnt like me. But later,as days went by, I realised it was kinda like someone was crushing on me. A big part of pessimistic me thought so,so it had to be true.This guy came from a conservative family,and he didnt talk to girls in our school. This is why it raised so many eyes when he started talking to me.Our convos were short,random and sweet, (if I asked him the meaning of a word in his language and it was a swear word,he'd say, 'i cant tell you,coz you're a lday') but people thought I provoked him into talking, because he wasnt sociable with girls,and I was loud and friendly.Our school had this 'segregation plicy',it wasnt segregated- classes were mixed, but the girls in my grade made it awkward by not talking to guys, and the guys kept up with it. So over 7 months of school, he started showing me that he liked me more and more. I dont wanna say Im in love, coz I dont know what it is. but i started falling,and falling hard for him. my friends knew, it was obvious. then what happened is we broke off for summer,and i spent those 3 months trying to get over him, but i couldnt.i couldnt feel anything. i was doing so much that summer,but couldnt feel it. so i counted down days to see him. i didnt want a relationship- coz of his parents, and coz I have a policy (relationships dont tend to last as long as friendship). So i came back to school,and it turned out that coz he was a trouble maker in school, his dad punished him by sending him to a boarding school in another country.it was really hard,and i cried many nights,even though i dont usually cry. one of my friends,she felt so bad, she spoke to someone and after a lot of hard work, she got his email address (he's not on any social networking site,and we only spoke in school, coz the culture in the country i live sucks).I emailed him,confessing, and he replied after a day. the email was so long and sweet, and he mentioned how culture in this country is fucked, but he didnt tell me if he liked me or not. then i replied, and i didnt get an email for about 2 months. when i logged on to a computer in school,it showed me the last person who signed on to msn,and it was his email address! our school has a reputation for picking on people by hacking into their email accounts. so..i thought,that's why he didnt reply.his first reply was so sweet,its impossible he'd ignore. so after a few months of failing to get over him, my friend told me to email him,telling him something only we know,and see the reply.that way,id know if he was hacked,or if he's just ignoring my mail.i didnt get a reply,but i didnt expect one- the hacker probably changed his password? he told me in the first email that he'd come back to visit in spring. he didnt, coz of his parents i guess. So, its been 10 months of trying to get over him.
Over time, I will get over him, right?
What shall I do? I miss him and want to be friends.
If, by chance, he does come back, what do I say? how do I react?
Max: You’re young, so of course this is going to be hard for you. But I’m going to treat you as I would anyone else and say that 1. You’re being fucking stupid. 2. You’re overthinking it as much as you possibly could. 3. He’s in a separate country. 4. You have no means of communication. I hate to be so mean and blunt, but at this point you have to assume that you won’t be talking to him any time soon. You need to just get over him, and realize that there are many other people you could be spending your time with and thinking about. He may have been nice, but he’s not in your life anymore. 10 months wasted getting over him? ……Ya. Time to move the fuck on. If he comes back into your life then great, but you simply can’t be expecting anything to happen.
Aimi: Acne is something that comes with puberty you learn to deal with it. Every skin type is different. The first rule is do not touch your face throughout the day, touching your face adds oil and dirt to your skin which may clog pores and clog acne. The best time to wash your face with any skin regimens is after a hot shower when your pores are open and can best be cleaned out. Afterwards proceed to use a toner which will remove any dirt from your pores. And proceed to wash your face with cold water multiple times to close up your pores. Avoid using cleansers that are really sudsy, it’s a sign it’s usually very basic or acidic and may upset the pH balance on your face and thus cause more acne. And last of all, do not touch any blemishes on your face. You want to prevent as much scarring as possible. One of my best friend had terrible acne problems for years, she went to the dermatologist multiple times a year and through different medications and multiple skin regimens. She took great care of her skin and finally it suddenly all cleared up, and she has no noticeable scarring and gorgeous clear skin now.
1.Is it normal?
2.How do I get over it?
Aimi: You’re 16, you’re a teenager with hormones. Getting horny is completely normal. Some people have fetishes and maybe for you, you enjoy the feeling of being ‘sexy.’ Your parents don’t need to know about this, unless you choose to suddenly be sexually active (then obviously discussing birth control may be a good idea). Masturbation is nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone does it whether or not they admit it, and people have their fetishes and fantasies. Masturbation is healthy for you. Don’t be ashamed. You’ll find that as you grow older, waiting until marriage may get harder and harder. I’m not encouraging you to go out and have sex, don’t get me wrong but don’t ever be embarrassed because you like to masturbate.
Aimi: It’s never too late to start dancing. Personally, I recommend taking classes. It helps you get the basics down and you have a professional whom can monitor whether you’re doing things properly so you start off with a correct foundation. From your basics you can begin to build and add your own style. If you can’t afford to take classes, head over to bboy.org and read some tutorials they have a popping & locking section and you can read up on basics and watch some tutorial videos.
Aimi: It’s not a matter of him possibly being your first boyfriend because when it happens it happens. It’s just a matter of him being the right guy. Long Distance relationships are tricky. Some people can’t handle the distance, it’s something you’ll definitely have to talk to him about. Long distance relationships also call for alot of time and effort so be sure you’re willing to put in both of those. Trust is vital in a long distance relationship, if you’re insecure and you don’t trust him, your relationship is going to fall apart. I’m not saying long distance relationships don’t work but I’m just saying they take alot of effort.
Max: Just talk. Ask him about himself. What he’s interested in. What he does in his spare time. And then just be yourself. I dunno… I can’t really teach you how to flirt…
So, I have a best friend that I've known for 3 years now, we're really close- He's the most greatest best friend I've ever had and 2 years ago we used to like each other a lot. We could talk everyday and not get tired of each other. We'd always want to see each other and hang out whenever we could. This was two years ago and then we decided to stay best friend- we never went out in the first place. We were just "talking' I guess? But yeah, he liked me in the beginning of last year too, but then stopped towards the end. And then a few months after school started this year, in around November, I don't know why but I just started developing these feelings for him again and he had a girlfriend at the time. Watching him be with someone else was so hard to cope with and that led to having many mood swings and bottling things up. Him, being my best friend, noticed all these symptoms and asked me what was wrong. I never told him until one day he decided to come over. When he was there, he constantly asked me what's wrong. I couldn't tell him until he hugged me. We stood there hugging for 5 minutes in silence until I finally told him I liked him again. After I told him, he said that he often thought about me as well, but it wasn't anything serious. When he left, we talked about it and months after that we hung out every week. He has kissed me countless times already. And yes, he was cheating on his girlfriend. There wasn't any way I could bring myself to tell his girlfriend about it because she was my friend, too. I didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't want to break them up. We developed many strong feelings and he said that he wanted to marry me, that he think he fell in love with me. It was all really chaotic. His girlfriend found out 3 months afterwards in and now me and her are not friends anymore. After she found out, they broke up and he and his girlfriend left off on a bad note. After they broke up, me and him would still hang out and we still had feelings for each other. The problem was that she really liked him and she was still so hung up on him. Even after they broke up, she still tried to talk to him and stuff. I know this is selfish, but I was tired of her talking to him and still trying to get him back, considering that he had already cheated on her once before. This was the second time. Following a month of confusion, him and his ex girlfriend started going back out again. I was hurt by this, but I rejected and ignored my true feelings. I told myself to be happy and to stop missing him, though I knew I couldn't. Me and him stayed best friends- but it was a little awkward. Soon enough, things started getting better and everything was normal. I was just starting to get over him. And now just a few days ago, he suddenly says that he misses a lot about me and he wants to hang out again. It's been about 20 days since we've had a hang out and I began to miss him, too, now that I know he misses me. We hung out, and he ended up cheating on his girlfriend again.
This is the third time he's cheated on this same girl. I'm not trying to be biased, and I know he sounds like a slut, but he makes me so happy and I don't know whether I should go with what makes me happy, or what's the right thing to do. Shoot, I don't even know what the right thing to do. I've learned from my past and I want to tell his girlfriend, but he wants to keep it a secret. I don't know what I should do. He's still going out with his girlfriend and I don't know if this time I can contain all these feelings. Even though he's not a person to call mine, I feel like he's cheating on ME. Can you give me your honest opinion on this and any advice?
I'm really sorry that this is like.. a book long. I just had a lot to say. Thanks!
Max: By “cheating” do you mean that you had sex or that he kissed you? It would seem to me that he’s using you. You seem like his extra sugar when his girlfriend isn’t putting out. You go 20 days without hanging out? That sounds like a once in a while kinda deal, not really what best friends would do. I think its all in your head. He got back together with his ex when he was telling you that he had feelings for you. Knock some sense into your head, girl! It sucks that he’s not yours, but if you stay hung up on him (when he’s with another girl) then you’re gonna miss out on someone better. Alternatively, if you really do think that he’s your best friend, then he shouldn’t be putting you in this situation and cheating on his girlfriend with you, so either tell him you need to stay friends, or next time you hang out, don’t let him do anything.
Aimi: You will get pushed around and treated like crap if you continue to let it happen. If you constantly let it happen he will see no wrong and continue doing it. Stand up for yourself because there are better people in the world. The quality of a ‘friendship or relationship’ isn’t defined by the length of time but the effort which is put in from BOTH sides.
Max: Tell him to man the fuck up. If he can’t deal with it then that’s his problem. Give him the options: he can either accept that your relationship is over and stay friends with you or he can not accept it and stay bitter and lose you forever. And also, your friends should be believing you, you shouldn’t have to tell them repeatedly.
Max: Tell him straight up what’s going on. He’s always getting mad at you for it so explain what the fuck’s really up. Tell him you don’t like going out because you don’t like it when he pays for everything. Or make an ultimatum, maybe say you’ll go out if he only pays for food and doesn’t buy you any presents or anything like that. It isn’t fair of him so don’t put up with it.
Max: How do you feel about him? If you feel the same way about him that he does about you then you should inform him. And I don’t wanna be the one to tell you how to live your life, but I personally wouldn’t give a fuck what anyone else would say. If you like him, date the fuck out of him.