Max: If it didn’t work once then I don’t think it could work again… I’m sorry but he’s moved on, he just wants to be friends. Tell him you care about him and that you wanna keep in touch. If it works out in the future then it’ll happen. But its got to be hard on him too, having to move like this, so don’t put any more stress on him.
Max: You don’t need closure, you just need to get over it. Honestly, you’re young. Did you really see yourself in 10 years being with him and marrying him and starting a family with him? He’s already moved on. Yes, it sucks. But its just motivation for you to move on as well.
Aimi: Sometimes it’s just not your place to say anything. Relationships are hard to understand especially from the perspective of a friend. Remind her that relationships come with doubts and risks, but in a healthy relationship you ought to be confident. Theres nothing wrong with giving the relationship another shot though and just seeing how they work out. Let her decide.
Aimi: The number of boyfriends you’ve had doesn’t really matter. I’ve discovered the best guys come along when you least expect it. Just hang out with your friends, meeting friends friends is always a good way. As for being outgoing, my number one rule is “things are never awkward unless you make them awkward.” So simply…don’t make things awkward just open up and talk to people. You’re always bound to meet more people, so you’re always bound to meet someone you’re interested in. Don’t stress so much, you’re still young!
It's been about a month since him and I have broken up. I've cried numerous times and I've felt regret for not working things out better between him and me. I get jealous when I find that he's talking to other girls. Breaking up with him, shouldn't that mean I should be happier now? Why do I still feel attached to him? Why do I still want to give him and I another chance together to see if stronger feelings from my side will eventually spark?
Should I give things another chance, or should I drop it? And also.. is it worth it to enter relationships with someone you know you don't 100% feel for?
Aimi: This definitely sounds like my last relationship. This is where the term ‘you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’ comes into play. Relationships are difficult, just because you didn’t feel a 100% connection with him in the beginning of your relationship doesn’t mean you won’t later because chances are at the time you didn’t know him 100%. If you regret it, do something about it. Take it slow. Don’t push the concept of getting back together with him immediately. I would say ask him to hang out a few times so you both have a chance at seeing where your feelings are. You won’t ever know until you give it a shot.
Max: In person if possible. If you can’t do it in person then videochat. Texting, via AIM, or over the phone are disrespectful and it just hurts even more. Be as straightforward as possible. Start with a “Hi, we need to talk…” not a “How was your day?” or a “Ya we’re still on for Thursday.” Give reasons, don’t just end it and then leave. Actually have a conversation wherein you give reasons, your view of the relationship and why you’re ending it, and in this case, “It doesn’t feel the same anymore, I don’t feel the same way about you” is a valid reason. Give them a hug if they need it, but no more than that. Don’t give any false hope, but don’t lie. Most importantly, don’t change your mind. Be absolutely sure that this is what you want to do, and then don’t let them guilt you or sway into staying with them. Basically, just be honest, open, and straightforward. If they take offense or they get angry then just continue as calmly as possible and don’t let it elevate into a fight, if they continue in such a manner then speak confidently, loudly, finish everything you need to say, and then leave.
Aimi: You’re young, you’re going to meet people and become infatuated but that means you’re also going to lose interest too. Maybe it’s the secrecy that you like. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just means the person hasn’t left a big enough impact on you. You’ll meet someone who will and they’ll keep your interest at some point in your life.
Beverly: You should probably check again to see if we’ve answered it because I’m pretty sure we have. There’s nothing else in our inbox besides this and a thank you note. So go double check! If not, I’d be more than happy to address your problem if you’re willing to talk about it again. (:
Aimi: Just because you two disagree on a concept doesn’t mean you two don’t feel the same way. If he loves you, he loves you. That’s all that matters. Couples disagree on concepts and ideas all the time, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Beverly: Tell her that she has to go talk to him. Tell her that if she really cares about him and honestly wants him back, then she needs to go out there and do something about it. Sitting around and whining does nothing. Speaking from personal experience, there’s nothing you can do about it other than be there for her and gently (but sternly) coerce her to talk to him. Be the support system she needs right now.
And if it happens that they talk and things don’t work out, remind her that he’s one boy. She has her entire life ahead of her. As a friend, you need to remind her that she’s just one heartbreak closer to finding someone who will sweep her off her feet.